I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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