I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
