as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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