Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
