Soap is not a condiment
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
