I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
