just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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