dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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