so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
