He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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