I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
