and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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