hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
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All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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