Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dicks are not precious.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
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