Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
