Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
