I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
