I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
