Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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