i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
