just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
