What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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