I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just want to make out with him forever
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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