if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
