You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
