It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
