Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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