Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
