you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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