dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
