I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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