32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
please come you make the beer taste better
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
