The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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