i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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