Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
