i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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