it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I will pee on everything he values.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
