you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
