Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
