I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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