turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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