so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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