I'm lost and stupid without you.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
the liver wants what the liver wants
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
