i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
