that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
