I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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