I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
This house was built for laser tag.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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