i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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