I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
