The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
