I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
