Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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