i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
