Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
