I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
