Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize