We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
