You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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