I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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