the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
