Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
