i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
you never un-have a 4some
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
