dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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