Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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