Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
