Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
