Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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